Stepping Back, Stepping Forward
The end of the last decade has been one of tremendous growth and opportunity for me. It’s also been a time of great introspection on my personal values, the things that I want to accomplish personally and professionally, and creating the life and family that I want to grow old and pass on with. So it’s only fitting that, as I walk into this new decade of my life, that I develop a special vision for 2020 (sorry, I just had to). That, for me, means that I’ll be stepping into some brand new aspects of my life, stepping towards positivity and possibility. It also means that I’ll be stepping back from some things as well…
One of the things I’ll be stepping away from might be shocking to a lot of my Trinbagonian Spoken Word supporters - this year, for the first time since 2014, I won’t be performing in the First Citizens National Poetry Slam.
Performing at the semifinals of the First Citizens National Poetry Slam 2019.
Photo courtesy the First Citizens National Poetry Slam
For those who know me, slam has been such a huge part of my identity, not just as a performer but as a person. It’s the place where I challenge myself to create more, create better, tell hard-hitting stories and dig deep to discover what is the most important thing I can say and say well. I’ve had some amazing experiences with FCNPS (formerly Verses Bocas), and being a five-time finalist has certainly helped me become a more competent and confident performer.
But also, over the last few years, it’s been a space that’s left me torn between my passion for performance and my vision and mission as an activist. As much as I’m thankful for my growth as a performer, I feel like local slam has called me to chase the stage, instead of the stories that make it all matter. I’ve also felt a lot of ostracism from the local Spoken Word community, where speaking truth to power on real close-to-home issues very often was labelled as ‘being inappropriate’ or having personal issues with those doing harm within the community.
I still Love slam, and I wish all of this year’s competitors the best of luck, but for the next year I’m focused on finding my own space for performance; one where my personal values of mindfulness, empathy, integrity and hopefulness are at home. I certainly won’t rule out the possibility of me ever returning to FCNPS, or doing other local slams if they turn up, but I’m more focused on stepping forward into opportunities for international slam throughout 2020 and beyond, as well as creating new spaces for my work and collaborating with like-minded poets from all over.
I’m also stepping back into theatre! Stage theatre has always been something I’ve wanted to do more and do better. I once had a goal to do one stage play every year. That wasn’t a promise I got to keep to myself last year, but 2020 promises to be the year that I not only make up for it, but create a platform to continue creating Compassionate, community-centred theatre. I can’t share too much, but what I can say is that my work at the Community Solutions Program fellowship was all leaning towards creating something innovative, social justice-oriented, and powered by the audience, much like a lot of my previous theatre work.
Me, giving final notes to performers before the premiere of ‘To Light’ in 2016.
That means, of course, that there’s less time for me to work on artistic endeavors that aren’t working towards a creating a more Compassionate and connected world. Don’t get me wrong, though; I think that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making art for the sake of simply bringing joy and whimsy to the hearts of audiences. Heck, my last play, Calypso Girls, was just that - a mischievous adult comedy with a cast of veteran performers who just wanted to have some fun with the audience. I had a blast directing it, and I hope to do something like that again soon. But before I get to what I want to do, there’s a lot I feel I need to do. The world’s become a much more complicated place, and I feel like theatre is the most important tool to bridge the gap between disparate people and ideas. I want to dig deeper into that. I’'ll make sure I’ll get to have a lot of fun along the way.
And, lastly, I’m stepping into more personal content creation. Despite living as a performer and creator for most of my adult life, I feel like I’ve not done a create deal of actual creating. I mean, sure, I’ve written a handful of plays and I’ve been on the slam stage every year, but there’s much more that I want to make.
10th Cropper Foundation Writers’ Workshop fellows.
Photo courtesy The Cropper Foundation.
I was Blessed enough to be a part of last year’s Cropper Foundation Residential Writers’ Workshop, with the beginnings of a book idea that I’ve perhaps only told two people about. I’ve already started sharing more about that on my Patreon, and this year I lean in to creating more for my patrons in terms of poems, short stories and excerpts. I’ll also be pushing forward with new ways to share my Spoken Word, and documenting more of my creative process.
I’ll also still be experimenting with new ways to create and share stories. For instance, my love for Dungeons and Dragons has led to me being a consistent Dungeon Master at Trinidad & Tobago’s largest board game library, Board at Home, and I’m certainly not stepping back from that anytime soon. In fact, I’ll be stepping forward into a new project that combines my Love for D&D, theatre and storytelling. More on that in time…
Me, DMing for the youth at One Common Unity’s Organizing Troupe.
Photo courtesy Tyler Grigsby
2020 is going to be a year of many bold steps, in many new directions for me. I hope many of you will be taking these steps by my side, or at least stay tuned for the footprints here. Until then…
Blessings, Compassion, Peace & Love.
